You'll Ask For Me
by nixdragon
Summary: One shot of Jacob's view of SWBL chapter 21, hiking in the woods together. Wanted to give more of an idea of what Jacob is thinking during all this stuff. Sorry it took so long to get up. Jacob/OC. sisfic. Jacob and Gen.


A drunk text.

That's what threw Genevieve into my head again.

I'd done so well fighting her off, too. Told myself to take the hint: she forgot to answer texts, avoided spending time with me, called me a five year old at every given opportunity. I often wondered how much of it was a reaction to how she saw her sister: Genevieve would find it the height of shallowness to lead a guy on…

And fine. Genevieve and I had known each other for years and she still threw me for a loop sometimes. What with her jokes about my age. And her temper. And her cursing. And her smile. And her passion. And her weird sense of humor.

And her smile.

But she'd just turned eighteen, months before my sixteenth birthday. With an age gap like that, how's a guy supposed to fight off the 'little brother' idea Gen had somehow convinced herself of? So, crush or not, I'd made it my mission not to seek out anything with Genevieve Swan. Bella Swan? Sure, she'd responded to meeting me again with friendliness. I could see her liking me, if there weren't that stupid Edward in the way. But Gen? Unattainable. Unreachable. Terrifying.

Then…

_'__Jacb. I hate boys. Heeeeeelllllp.'_

I'd barely had time to look down at the text before another came.

'_and no I did nt spell yr name wrng. That is your new nickname.'_

I laughed.

I should have realized then that I was starting to get lost again.

It felt like next thing I knew we were sitting quietly on a hill together and she was avoiding me again: the long walk up had been fine, but now that she was sitting behind me, lost in thought about whatever had happened to her last spring, she was drowning in her own thoughts. It was still good to have her next to me, to have her _there_. Embry was gone. Bella'd disappeared into herself. Genevieve may be silent, fighting her fear, but she was still here. Fear, pain: they changed how she talked but there was no way any part of her was going to disappear or hide.

I turned around to see how Gen was doing and found her staring very carefully at the ground. While I hadn't been watching, the forest had started to creep in and I saw the cheerful, mischievous look replaced by a skittish expression, a weird hopelessness that left her looking a little green. There was a streak of mud on her cheek and her hair was falling in her face, unnoticed as she sat lost in fear. And yet when she came back and found my eyes on her? She suddenly looked ready to fight me.

I pretended not to notice: I knew she'd seen through it, but lies were always easier with Genevieve.

"You're cold." I muttered and used the excuse to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

That was a mistake.

I'd known Genevieve my whole life. And my whole life she'd pushed me away. We'd had one other moment of weakness, back in spring, when she was drugged out of her mind and I was only just realizing that Bella had fallen for Edward instead of me: one moment of closeness together while I was too preoccupied for it to affect me. This time?

It was so stupid! If I couldn't get Bella, what would make Genevieve notice me? But I had my arm around her and seeing the look of fear start to fade from her face as she remembered I was there—for goodness sake, she felt safe with me? Doubt started to creep up again: she had been right, after all. I was just a kid. What did a fifteen year old know about whatever nightmare had happened to her? For that matter, did she even see me as different from Paul and the boy from her school and whoever else had ever smiled at her? That was me, though: crushing on all the unattainable girls. It was a surprise that Gen even wanted to hang out with me… and I was going to ruin it?

Genevieve pulled away suddenly and walked off, pretending to concentrate on brushing off the dirt to hide an irritated look on her face. I scowled and studied the ground. Gen still had feelings for Paul: she tried to hide it, but I was pretty sure that was what had made her wonder about his secret. The fact that Embry was in on it was the only reason we'd started talking. And besides, it was obvious that she and Bella had some secret of their own: it didn't take an idiot to wonder how falling out of a hotel window made you afraid of things hiding behind trees. And Genevieve wasn't one to get embarrassed about things: so why would she lie? And why couldn't I figure out the truth?

"Jacob?" Gen said, breaking into my thoughts and probably wondering why I was staring at her like a complete moron. I hadn't even noticed that I'd looked up.

"Embry and—" I started, wondering what lie she would tell, how she would hide her secret if she found out I saw that it was there. But Genevieve turned to look at me and… I couldn't. "No."

"No?" The fear trickled away as she laughed at me.

"Not now." I said. Because really, was I going to demand the reason for her fear of the forest right before she would be forced to walk through an hour of trees? "I'll tell you in the car." I added, telling myself I would have to ask eventually.

"Yeah, ok, kid." Gen said flippantly. She turned around and started to walk off, her long hair falling down her back and her expression distracted and amused.

Give up, Jacob. I scolded myself. Freaking idiot, thinking about her. Just forget.

I looked up to find that Genevieve had paused, her head half turned toward me and her expression one of deep concentration. Finally she looked back at me, a little regret in her face as she smiled.

"Hurry up. If you grow any taller you might not fit through the trees." She joked, referring back to my request that she mock my height instead of my age.

Ok, so I'm dumb to hope… But would she have 'apologized' to anyone else?

We were quiet as we moved down the hill again, but I might have caught Gen by the elbow one or two more times than she needed me to. And I might have bumped into her a couple times on the path back. And stood a little closer then I needed to when she pointed out a familiar gap in the trees showing we were almost back at the beach, pretending not to know where she saw it… But through all that I still couldn't see, couldn't see her react other than casual and distracted… She did smile… So maybe…?

_Ok, so I'm an asshole._ I decided. _Hey, Gen! Wanna go out with me? Oh, wait: we're in the middle of getting over your biggest fear and a traumatic experience of some kind. My bad!_

"You doing ok?" I asked, watching Genevieve keep her eyes carefully on my feet as we helped each other over a rather slippery log.

"Yeah…" Genevieve said nervously. "No…" she laughed. "Distract me, ok, Jacob?"

"Distract you?" I glanced around, finding nothing inspirational. Well, there was… "All I can think of is Paul."

"Um…"

"When we were kids." I said, emphasizing the 'were'. And the 'we'. She didn't even glance up. "Remember when we walked through here? And you pretended to sprain your ankle to get me to leave the two of you alone?"

"That was one of my stupider lies." Genevieve said mildly.

"Yeah?" I reached over to brush a leaf out of her hair and frowned as it simply crumbled.

Her hand reached up reflexively, bumping into mine as I tried to retrieve the pieces. She looked a little more like herself as I started to blush and she laughed as she replied. "Yeah. Two hours at a hospital for one stupid kiss."

"Yeah…" I said lamely. Then, to get away from the subject of kissing effing Paul, "There's also all those stupid games we used to play. Like… Titanic? Oh, great game."

"Isn't that what we called it when we'd build a tent, I'd make you all go inside, and then I'd jump on top of it?" Genevieve laughed.

"Hey, I joined in on the destruction once or twice as well." I interrupted. "We are a team remember?"

"Oh, right." She said, eyes lighting up as she thought back. "You punch people and I blackmail them. And then we're the only ones to 'survive' the Titanic."

"We were also a great pair at those drawing contests we used to have." I said, hiding my disappointment that we'd reached the easier, last quarter of trail that meant I had to come up with another way of judging if she had any interest in me.

"You mean when you'd come up with a contest, force us to do girls against boys, and then come over tell me that girls would win—before we even started drawing?" Gen asked. "That offended me, actually."

"Oh?" I said, pretending to be confused.

"Someone cheating for me takes all the competitiveness out of things." Gen informed me.

"You? Competitive? Ow!" She'd punched me in the side. "Nice arm."

"Thank you!" Gen replied, looking quite pleased with herself. "More distraction. Or more compliments."

Not sure I wanted to find out where the hike would end if I told Gen everything I liked about her, I went with a story. "We built that fort in the woods once. The one we didn't destroy?"

"Yeah. And then we said we were a town in the middle of nowhere and sent 'airplanes' to get supplies?" Gen grinned up at me. "But we drank water every time we went back to the house to 'refuel'?"

"How many trips did we end up making?" I said, wincing as I thought back. "We filled that fort with every toy we had and… the water! Ugh."

"The only time I've needed a bathroom worse was when I thought that _The Two Towers _had twenty minutes left instead of two hours." Gen complained. "Ugh."

"Wait, you didn't just leave after those twenty minutes ran out?"

"No."

"Aaaand you are a whole new level of stubborn."

"Not to mention a bad judge of time passing."

I broke into a laugh and we spent the last fifteen minutes of the walk simply joking around and insulting each other for childhood habits we normally might not have even remembered existing. By the end there was almost a skip in her step and as we reached the edge of the forest, Genevieve exclaiming in surprise at how fast it had gone, I caught her grateful smile.

A smile.

Directed at me.

"What time is it?" Gen asked, pulling out her cell phone as she spoke. "Ugh, 3?" She sighed and turned to grimace up at me. "I should get home."

"Alright." I replied, a bit disappointed. I was 90% sure she was going to ditch me the second we got there. Luckily I still had the car ride to feel things out a bit more or to earn some more brownie points. "Let's at least get a look at the water first. " I said, shamelessly stalling.

Gen gave me a puzzled look. "I've seen the beach a million times."

"Yeah." I said slowly, grasping at straws. "And last time you were in a horrible mood. You have to go apologize to the ocean for being grouchy."

"I wasn't grouchy." Gen complained. "I was… Fine."

"You were what?"

"I don't want to talk about them."

"We don't have to go to the beach." I offered.

"Yes, we do." Gen laughed. "But I'm not apologizing." She began to stomp down the last bit of path, chin high in the air. "Not unless the ocean apologizes first."

"The ocean didn't do anything." I pointed out, jogging a bit to catch up with her. "It was just there."

"Yeah. But it could've cheered me up. With a… tsunami or something."

"A tsunami is your idea of cheerful, huh?"

"When it's dragging Paul and Tyler away, yeah." She scoffed. She turned back to the ocean, mulling something over. I sat on a rock, waiting for her to finish her thoughts. I'd had just enough time to wonder what on earth Genevieve could be thinking about so seriously when she turned to me with a frown.

"Yeah?" I asked, standing up to follow as she started to make her way back to the car.

"I was going to thank you for lunch…" Gen began.

"Ok...?" I said. She didn't continue. "You're welcome."

"Cool." She said distractedly. "Except I was going to eat popcorn for lunch. I'd just put it in the microwave and everything."

"I'm… sorry?" She turned and laughed at the complete confusion on my face.

"When we get back, my house is going to smell awful." She said, shaking her head disgustedly. "Ugh. I'm blaming you."

She started to move off, her dark hair half tumbled down her back, her feet dancing slightly as her shoes sunk in the sand. I watched for a moment, lost as I watched her skipping and jumping just like she had when we were kids… except now there were all these hurts and habits and beauties that I'd never noticed before, hiding in her laugh, echoing in her glares. I wanted to know this girl and all I had were reasons why I couldn't.

I caught myself staring and hurried to catch up to Gen before she could notice. It was too late, of course.

"Get a little distracted, Jacob?" She wondered teasingly.

I nodded my head back at the beach, deciding to bring up what always haunted my mind when we came out here. "You know back there? Up the beach, toward that cliff?"

"Yeah."

I glanced back again and then gave her a sheepish smile. "It's where Billy proposed to my mom." I admitted. Then I laughed. "And where Sam proposed to Emily. And where Sol proposed to Rebecca. And I think my grandfather proposed here. And…"

Gen gave me a weird smile but she was laughing too as she looked back at the cliff and beach.

"Yeah? Your point?" She asked.

I laughed. "It's… just a good spot for couples." I commented, glancing at her wistfully.

Genevieve glanced over at me. "Uh, yeah..." She said, looking a little puzzled. "Uh, we... we should get going."

"Oh. yeah." I gave her what I hoped was a winning smile: it might have come out too eager. "We have to go rescue your popcorn."

"Ha." She snorted. "More like start it's funeral. You might not know this, but three hours is a bit long for microwaving _anything_."

"Yeah…"

We trailed off but I couldn't help but keep sneaking glances at her as we made our way back to the car. Genevieve, Genevieve… if you knew… if you had any idea…

But she didn't know and so she kept joking and laughing and teasing and I just had to fight my hardest to keep off thoughts of that night last spring, with her head on my shoulder and my arm around her and… Crap.

By the time I dropped Gen back at her house and waved awkwardly as she disappeared through the front door, I'd lost the fight.

I knew it was going to end badly…

But somehow or other, I was determined that that girl was going to be mine.


End file.
